I imagine rinsing my mouth and feeling doritos dust all around my gums

YUM!

only cool ranch flavored

Many's the time I've woken up in the morning and thought, "I really want my breath to smell like Doritos today, but I don't want to go to all the trouble of eating Doritos."

So yes.

Ummm...ew!

Only if I thought I might be about to score.

i think i just got nauseous

Quick, get Skanko some pork rind-flavoured Pepto!

you're only sick because it's not cool ranch

I'm hungry