we dont talk much

My trip to San Francisco tomorrow.

A) He doesn't need me, he only thinks he does. "Im not your holy one"

B) i cant believe he feels thta for me. Especially after this long. How deep do his feelings run?

C) I miss *him* more than anything right now. I just want to hide in his cuddles and listen to him talk and make bad jokes that both make us giggle.

high five, Jay. go to the MOMA

and the beach.

Tonight: "hide in his cuddles"

i like it

um...a boy.

and stuff.

and other stuff.

like how i need more friends.

p.s. david i really like your background.

whether or not i've pissed someone off; i certainly didn't mean to, but i haven't heard from them in a few days. such are the highs/lows of online friendship...

hey thanks!! i keep thinking about a northwest coast tattoo...

i could use more friends but i really am not crazy about spending time around people. i like a shitload of alone time unless it's my gf or my cat. people are just...work.

it's easy to disappear online, Garak. wait. it's easy to disappear irl, too

trying to figure out what is up with my lack of focus and how to maintain my energy when I get home- Like, all day at the barn I'm good-I get home and i just wilt in a depression. I can fix that, I just need to figure out how
ug.
I know I'm making it too hard, that has to be my first mistake...

hm.

maybe you're putting so much emotional energy into the horses that you're just drained afterwards...and you dont even realize this is the dynamic.

no idea.

yea, i do love working with them and just being there. I just need to get my own stall

why did i take a nap from 9pm to 1am??

My desire to sleep. Work. Using the potty. Boys. How will I ever make it through work today? Will I at least get to leave at the regular hour? Will I kill myself because I don't have enough free time? Am I going to hell?

cheese, mostly.