Because Kevin Smith said I was a cool guy for wanting to see Batman fight random things

Stephen Hawking in a robot suit

irritable bowel syndrome

classic family values

rick santorum

mitt romney's hair

A sack full of squirrles

tony the tiger

lony the liger

napoleon dynamite (suddenly semi relevant again)

500 Howler monkeys taped together

ennui

his way out of a wet paper bag

the jonas brothers

bieber

diabetes.

Erectile dysfunction

a really bad acne breakout

Batman should take break from fighting and bring me a nice picnic lunch.

And then fight the ants who will try to ruin it.

A minotaur
A mid-sized car
Pat Benetar

Rob Liefield

the stay puft marshmallow man.

The script from Ghostbusters 3

Miss Piggy

Gorilla Glue tape

My dog's giant head

the cat who fucked up my hand.

toe jam and earl

The power of hugs

this feeling

the power of drugs

stupid sexy Flanders

@(imaginary)libi !!!

@little_p :)

3rd grader Timmy, all hopped up on glue.

yossarian

Ayn Rand

John Galt

the powers that be

daffy duck

bluntman and chronic

Ally McBeal's bulemia.

halitosis

the sun

Oprah Winfrey

Kevin Smith.

Chronic and Bluntman.

The guy who stabbed someone on the train platform today! He deserves it!

Colds and fevers.
Eager beavers.
Cleveland steamers!!! GROSS!!!!

(Yes, that really happened. Yes, I'm totally okay. It was like 4 hours before I was off of work. Also, I drove to work today)

The RIAA
The MPAA
and, for completeness, the NCAA

The Susan G Komen Race For The Cure foundation, oxidation, bacon, corrupt police

NAMBLA.
Tasmania.
Magnets.

Thom Yorke
Bjork
A three pronged fork

James Taylor
a swarthy sailor
a coupon mailer

darkwing duck.

loose pussy.

sinking ships

Kim Dotcom.
The GDP of Sweden.
A supergiant amphipod.

the GDP of Greece

Well *that* won't take long.

Dr. Jurd's Jungle Juice.

Seriously. Google it. That shit is *evil*.

Five Hour Energy! The extra strength kind! (6 hr edition)