I was listening to the [ridiculous] song "In This Diary" by the Ataris and the part where it says "being grown up isn't half as fun as growing up" made me wonder when exactly a person can say they are all grown up.
I'm 26 and I certainly don't feel grown up. But then, I do still live with MOM. Sheesh.
hahaha I love you celisse, omg that aratis album is cheese tactic and I used to LOVE IT. hilar.
also I think it depends on your definition of "growing up". if it's a matter of maturity, it depends on the person (bur everyone acts like a wee kid sometimes.) and if you mean in terms of learning, c'est impossible!
Great topic!! I think it's one of those things that you don't notice it's happened until after the fact...it isn't like you cross some kind of discrete finish line that lets you know "okay, today I'm grown up". (Well, unless you're having a bar mitzvah.)
I can speak only for myself, I guess...I've certainly passed a number of milestones that are conventionally thought of as "adult", but I certainly wouldn't ever consider myself a pro at life ;) As Kirsty wisely points out, you never stop learning or changing unless you give up on life altogether!
Man, working with small children makes me feel like SUCH a grown-up and such a NON grown-up all the time. It's really weird. I feel like an adult when I have to be all serious... and then I'll realize I'm being serious while I play with play-dough or legos or something, and it puts things in this weird perspective.
And yeah, I've dealt with a lot of stuff (probably more big life major issues than most of my friends who are my age), but I DEFINITELY don't think I'm a pro at life. Far, far from it!
I want to keep learning. I don't want to end up saying, "I'm 75. I know all there is to know. I'm gonna sit here on my porch swing and watch the birds for the rest of my life."
My grandfather is almost 80. He takes classes at a community college FOR FUN. He takes kayaking lessons, he bought a kayak, takes carving lessons... he doesn't pass up an opportunity to learn or explore. He's a kid at heart, underneath that (sometimes) grumpy old man exterior. He's never claimed to know it all, because he knows there is still more to know... if that makes sense. That's one of the many things that I admire about him.
Well, I mean, I didn't really mean to ask if there was a point where people stop learning or wanting to learn. Just, is there a point where its like, ok, i've done x things that make me a grown up.
I guess it depends on your definition of "grown up"
If by that, you mean that you've put childish things behind you, then I never want to grow up.
If instead, it just means that you can pay your bills and not kill yourself from blood-alcohol poisoning, then I grew up a long time ago and, you know what? It's not as painful as they tell you.
But even pros at life could always learn a lesson here and there.
my father is a complete child, but he's a responsible and self-sufficient one. He was responsible and self-sufficient at 8 though, so he's a strange child. Hilarious and crazy and very un-tense. a teeny, very small part of me got that. and growing up is something i don't even think about. i just think about what i'm doing/goals, and I try not to fall backwards into my own head (at this I fail on a consistent basis).
probably my most freeing moment in life, what I might consider a maturation point, was when i realized that whether or not I'm ugly as sin and living under a bridge, or if I'm rich and beautiful, neither of those things have anything to do with being happy. being happy is something else all together, and I don't really need to worry about the ugly, poor, and alone thing. I can still be happy if all those things happen. and one of the reason happy never happens to people is because they think it has to to with being rich and beautiful and popular, so it's actually okay to ignore those issues.
(often i feel guilty because I think i should have done more to give my family bragging rights or something- so much crappy competition stuff like that in the family- I GOT NUTHIN. When my mom wants to tell people what i do, i tell her to say that I'm trying to figure out what happy is. that should shut everyone up)
Nah. There's always room for improvement. You stop growing or learning you stagnate.
As for being a grown up: one of the only distinctions I can make between myself now and myself 10 years ago is that even though I make the same mistakes I've gotten a lot better at handling the consequences.
I think you're a grown up once you can take care of yourself, for the most part. Getting your own place and paying your own bills are pretty large contributors to that feeling of "I'm a grown up now," I think, for most people.
Getting married and/or having babies might help too.
I, on the other hand, have done all of those things and people still consistently mistake me for a teenager. So public perception might play a hand in it, too. Who knows.
On the other hand, being grown up and being good at life are by no means the same thing.
With your question, being grown-up is hard to define.
If being grown-up means getting a kid, having a mortgage and a house, having tons of bills to pay, and so on... then I'm nowhere near being considered "grown-up".
But on the other hand, if being grown-up is an emotional thing, such as becoming more wise and mature, then one might consider me a "grown-up".
It's sorta like when I was little and I saw the older kids. They were taller, they acted a bit more mature, and they just seemed cooler. I always thought to myself - "WOW! They are so tall and adult! I'm gonna be just like that when I get older."
What happened was that I got older. Even then, I remember seeing up to the high school kids and thinking the same thing when I was younger. The fact was that I was distracted with my current life situation that I failed to notice that I became "older".
I guess what I'm trying to say is what we consider "grown-up" is subjunctive, and even when we come to individual conclusions, we seem to change them once we meet said conclusions.
@JasAsian v2.0 My father's mother died a few years ago. He really got along with his parents/had a great childhood, etc., and when his mother passed away he talked about feeling like an adult for the first time. He also mention that for the first time in his life he really felt alone.
that scared the shit out of me.
my mother has this other ideal that she's dead set on that is a bit related to this topic, and that i can agree on to a certain point, that a man cannot fully grow up until his father passes away.
that's got a lot of holes in it, but I can see it applying in many cases.
posted on Wednesday, Aug 11th by Naturelle Rivera
I'd like to think not. I'm afraid of there coming a time where nothing surprises me or makes me go "Huh. That's freaking cool".
I was listening to the [ridiculous] song "In This Diary" by the Ataris and the part where it says "being grown up isn't half as fun as growing up" made me wonder when exactly a person can say they are all grown up.
I'm 26 and I certainly don't feel grown up. But then, I do still live with MOM. Sheesh.
hahaha I love you celisse, omg that aratis album is cheese tactic and I used to LOVE IT. hilar.
also I think it depends on your definition of "growing up". if it's a matter of maturity, it depends on the person (bur everyone acts like a wee kid sometimes.) and if you mean in terms of learning, c'est impossible!
I think everyone fails at life. It's just a matter of when you resign. That's when life really begins.
Great topic!! I think it's one of those things that you don't notice it's happened until after the fact...it isn't like you cross some kind of discrete finish line that lets you know "okay, today I'm grown up". (Well, unless you're having a bar mitzvah.)
I can speak only for myself, I guess...I've certainly passed a number of milestones that are conventionally thought of as "adult", but I certainly wouldn't ever consider myself a pro at life ;) As Kirsty wisely points out, you never stop learning or changing unless you give up on life altogether!
Yes, I mentally stopped aging at about 7.
Man, working with small children makes me feel like SUCH a grown-up and such a NON grown-up all the time. It's really weird. I feel like an adult when I have to be all serious... and then I'll realize I'm being serious while I play with play-dough or legos or something, and it puts things in this weird perspective.
And yeah, I've dealt with a lot of stuff (probably more big life major issues than most of my friends who are my age), but I DEFINITELY don't think I'm a pro at life. Far, far from it!
I know I'm more grown up than I used to be. But I also know I've got a really, really long way to go.
PS, penis.
If you do, you're doing it wrong.
I want to keep learning. I don't want to end up saying, "I'm 75. I know all there is to know. I'm gonna sit here on my porch swing and watch the birds for the rest of my life."
My grandfather is almost 80. He takes classes at a community college FOR FUN. He takes kayaking lessons, he bought a kayak, takes carving lessons... he doesn't pass up an opportunity to learn or explore. He's a kid at heart, underneath that (sometimes) grumpy old man exterior. He's never claimed to know it all, because he knows there is still more to know... if that makes sense. That's one of the many things that I admire about him.
I hope I'm like him someday.
Well, I mean, I didn't really mean to ask if there was a point where people stop learning or wanting to learn. Just, is there a point where its like, ok, i've done x things that make me a grown up.
I guess it depends on your definition of "grown up"
If by that, you mean that you've put childish things behind you, then I never want to grow up.
If instead, it just means that you can pay your bills and not kill yourself from blood-alcohol poisoning, then I grew up a long time ago and, you know what? It's not as painful as they tell you.
But even pros at life could always learn a lesson here and there.
no. i don't think so.
my father is a complete child, but he's a responsible and self-sufficient one.
He was responsible and self-sufficient at 8 though, so he's a strange child. Hilarious and crazy and very un-tense.
a teeny, very small part of me got that. and growing up is something i don't even think about. i just think about what i'm doing/goals, and I try not to fall backwards into my own head (at this I fail on a consistent basis).
probably my most freeing moment in life, what I might consider a maturation point, was when i realized that whether or not I'm ugly as sin and living under a bridge, or if I'm rich and beautiful, neither of those things have anything to do with being happy. being happy is something else all together, and I don't really need to worry about the ugly, poor, and alone thing. I can still be happy if all those things happen. and one of the reason happy never happens to people is because they think it has to to with being rich and beautiful and popular, so it's actually okay to ignore those issues.
(often i feel guilty because I think i should have done more to give my family bragging rights or something- so much crappy competition stuff like that in the family- I GOT NUTHIN. When my mom wants to tell people what i do, i tell her to say that I'm trying to figure out what happy is. that should shut everyone up)
wtf is maturity lol
I'd like to think of myself as 28, going on 5.
I still think of the people I work with as the grown ups. Even though at this point I have about five years on most of them.
Nah. There's always room for improvement. You stop growing or learning you stagnate.
As for being a grown up: one of the only distinctions I can make between myself now and myself 10 years ago is that even though I make the same mistakes I've gotten a lot better at handling the consequences.
@Bustie: this is intriguing. What is it that makes you see them as grown-ups?
@mattpotato: holy crap, it's mattpotato! Welcome back around, my friend.
I think you're a grown up once you can take care of yourself, for the most part. Getting your own place and paying your own bills are pretty large contributors to that feeling of "I'm a grown up now," I think, for most people.
Getting married and/or having babies might help too.
I, on the other hand, have done all of those things and people still consistently mistake me for a teenager. So public perception might play a hand in it, too. Who knows.
On the other hand, being grown up and being good at life are by no means the same thing.
aw according to beeps i'm still not growed up =(
With your question, being grown-up is hard to define.
If being grown-up means getting a kid, having a mortgage and a house, having tons of bills to pay, and so on... then I'm nowhere near being considered "grown-up".
But on the other hand, if being grown-up is an emotional thing, such as becoming more wise and mature, then one might consider me a "grown-up".
It's sorta like when I was little and I saw the older kids. They were taller, they acted a bit more mature, and they just seemed cooler. I always thought to myself - "WOW! They are so tall and adult! I'm gonna be just like that when I get older."
What happened was that I got older. Even then, I remember seeing up to the high school kids and thinking the same thing when I was younger. The fact was that I was distracted with my current life situation that I failed to notice that I became "older".
I guess what I'm trying to say is what we consider "grown-up" is subjunctive, and even when we come to individual conclusions, we seem to change them once we meet said conclusions.
growing up means being a joyless sod
if you're not a joyless sod yet, you haven't grown up
My dad's last parent died this past May. So I'd say that when both your parents are dead, you're pretty grown up.
@JasAsian v2.0 My father's mother died a few years ago. He really got along with his parents/had a great childhood, etc., and when his mother passed away he talked about feeling like an adult for the first time.
He also mention that for the first time in his life he really felt alone.
that scared the shit out of me.
my mother has this other ideal that she's dead set on that is a bit related to this topic, and that i can agree on to a certain point, that a man cannot fully grow up until his father passes away.
that's got a lot of holes in it, but I can see it applying in many cases.