Fisher-Price My First Bag O' Tacks

Broken Glass Bran

Black & Decker Shower Toaster

Ford Exploder SUV

Skippy Salmonella Butter

Activision's Bandsaw Hero for the X-Box 360

Easy-Bake Turkey Fryer

"Hungry Hungry Piranha".

Nerf Razor Rimmed Frisbee

Maggot-O's

"Hot Potato" Live Hand Grenade

Hungry Hungry Jackals

Jenga: Cinder Block Edition

@-j: Dammit! ;P

"Salem Witch Trials: Home Edition!"

Crunch and Munch and Razorblades

"Smallpox Barbie".

Vlasic brand Eggs Pickled in Whiskey

Milton Bradley's "Will It Burn?" game

"Rock'em Sock'em Escaped Convicts".

Scum of Society Action Figures Featuring:

Date Rape Danny with Rophynol
Ku Klux Ken with White Hood and Burning Cross
Iggy Igniter with Gas Can and Matches
Postman Sam with Mailbag and Bolt Action Sniper Rifle
Petey Pedophile with Web Cam and Hard drive containing 80 gigs of child pornography

20 Ft High Chair

Kenner's Spring Loaded Aliens Pop Out Chest Set

now in tablet form.

Ikea's new SwïngïngÅxe chandelier.

I Can't Believe It's Not Butter Sunblock (SPF Delicious!)

StarFrit Empanada-maker-and-eye-gouger.

Toast lifejackets

Lil' Buckin' Bronco Baby Swing

Electric Bath Loofah

Pocket Fondue Pot

Real Laser Tag.

lawn darts

Little John's Very First Straight Razor and Strop

Super-Soaker "Ground Zero" A-Bomb.

Moldy-Os

"Red Wire/Blue Wire", the defusing game for tots!

Under-counter trampolines

Free-Range Fire Ant Farm

George Foreman's Kill n' Grill

"Light-Socket Louie" action figure.

"YOU!-o'-lantern", from Mattel.

Dance Dance Revolution, "They Shoot Horses, Don't They?" edition.

Anti-Freeze-ade

Hasbro's Lil' Carpenter Belt Sander

Baby's First Brass Knuckles

Real Battleship.

Peat-a Chips

"X-Treme Dodgeball, now with howitzer."

Endangered Species Puffs

Liquid nitrogen fountain

"Professor McZapp's Uninsulated-Wire Laboratory".

Pit o' Vipers Playpen

"Pin the Tail on the Komodo Dragon".

Heroin Chews

Beartrap Hopscotch.

Angry Beehive Piñata

Play-Doh Hazmat Factory.

Frito-Lay Real-toes.

Garrotte wire bolo tie

Concrete swim fins

Balaclava made of Saran-wrap

Mattel Abandoned Refrigerator Playhouse

Poison oakpourri

Baby soft spoons -- now made of solid LEAD!
(maybe marketed as "Pablum Plumbum")

Dry-aged eggs

"William Tell Apples'n'Arrows".

My Little Pony Hotplate

Fruit'n'Tapeworm Roll-ups.

PlaySkool Physics Set -- Particle Accelerator Edition

Pack 'n' Play Alaskan Salmon Cannery

Hello Kitty Microwave Playhouse

200-grit boxer-briefs

Balsa-wood airbags

Icarus Wax Wings

"Cinderella's Stepsisters" Shoe Store

Procrustean Toddler Bed

@Mycroft: Icarus Wax Wings

The solar-powered model was especially ill-advised.

@-j. Nice.

Intermittent brakes

"KinderTarantula".

Little Mermaid Karaoke Machine

(alternately, Little Mermaid Tapdancing Shoes, for originalists and Hans Christian Andersen cognoscenti)

Jocasta Eyelid Brooches -- decorative and oh so functional!

Noah's Drinkin' Tent -- ideal for casual inebriation on camping trips with your close family!

Always all-hay menstrual pads

My first Noose

Bertie Bott's Every-Flavor Medicine Cabinet

Jell-o Pudding Mops

Levi's Glass Jeans

Polyphemus brand eyelash swabs -- recommended by Nobody!

Scott Thompson Brand Eye Salter

Franklin Mint presents "Barack Obama Commemorative Sulphuric Acid".

@Moose: ♥ @ "eye salter"!!

Huggies Fiberglass Baby Wipes

Persephone Pomegranate Snacks -- bet you can't eat just one! Once you've tried 'em, you'll be coming back again and again!

(Note: product is subject to seasonal availability. If it's not in stock, we invite you to go directly to Hades.)

Wrigley's Doublemint Epoxy.

Dr. Scholls Rocks & Thumbtacks Shoe Inserts

I suppose I'm contributing "wildly inappropriate product namesakes that evoke awful imagery" as much as guaranteed-recall items.

I Can't Believe It's Not Food

Ham and Strawberry Ice Cream

100% whole-grain tapioca. Nothing left out!

Try our organic cashews, too -- just as Mother Nature intended!

AnthrAxpartame.

Must go, but more later. (Did I mention I luuuuurve these?)

Stigmata Catholic Condoms

Uncle Ben's Converted Ricin.

G.I. Joe Enhanced Interrogation play set

Dirty Bomb Candy

organic MMR vaccine

Dashboard griddle

No-Handle^TM steak knives.

Skin Etching Set

Snooze respirator

Chanel's "Bear Pheromone #5".

The vibrating eye massager

Scratch-n-Sniff angry hornets.

Mosquito propellant

Good 'n' Chalky

Barbed-wire Hammock set.

Baconskin shoes

Lil' Flamethrower

Also, I can't stop wanting to say "Snore Converter" and then sing:
I AM WATCHING YOU THROUGH A CAMERA!

Sham-Ow.

STOP THIS THREAD

SHAM-0W WINS

@-j: lol...love it.

Showtime Wrist Rotisserie

Candy Nicotine Patches

Right-Guard Odorant

Purina Lion Treats

My Lil' Meth Lab

Dry Ice Pops

Hasbro Angry Badger In Your Pants game

Bathtub Darts

Staircase wax

My First Arc Welder

Magnetic Horseshoes

The popular board game "Whose Hand is This?"

Solar-powered socks

Slip'n'Slide'n'Sandpaper.

Electrical Banana (whether or not mellow yellow..quite right.)

Washing Machine Gun

Beach Barbie Surfin' Hair Dryer

Sushi Rice Krispy Treats

Playskool Junkie Sidestreet

Grandma Josie's Lukewarm Pork Bars

Breathable mesh prophylactics

"Bubble, Bubble, Toil & Trouble" bath salts

Earl of Gloster's Peanut Butter and Vile Jelly (only available for take-out.)

Swiss Army Q-tips.

"Abbot's Tonsure" bicycle helmets

Star Wars "Degobah In Your Bathtub" bath bombs.

Dahmer's Fava Bean Helper (best with a nice chianti, of course.)

And in the ever-popular infomercial category (after the staggering success of the Sham-OW!):

Chia Lung
The Iron Maiden Snuggie
Pet Rockets

And a two-recalls-in-one deal! NOW how many times would you sue?

"Magic Bullet" personal trimmer (for those intimate areas)
"Head Egg" Tongue Debrider

and, if you act now, we'll throw in a totally free Mi-Go!
(just pay separate shipping and handling from Yoggoth)

@rethwyll I think Right Guard Odorant got product placement in Monsters, Inc. -- neatly joining it with the previous product placement thread. Well done, ma'am.

@Mycroft -- ooh, now I need to go watch that again! That would be super-cool. :D

Can of Not-So-Silly Sting

Rice-a-Boney

Chef Boyardee's "Magma-ghetti".

Pot O'Gold Meat Surprise chocolates

Irish Spring Surprise (based on the famous ice cream -- stainless steel bolts plunge through both armpits.)

@rethwyll: The odorant gag is at about 0:35 into this clip:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ak8beUftXFA

Apparently "Low Tide" was recalled!

(And, believe me, it's quite literally designed to be a GAG.)

Heheheh. Hilarity.

Revlon Lady Eyelash Flatiron

Tylenol X-Treme Strength 300 Kg Tablets