That's because of the MORMON. Can you imagine me re-writing Twilight Erotica? FUCK. In fact I will right now. Thank you.

and it's for kids apparently

wait until I give you the true blood books. blood, gore and fingerbanging.

ew!

I know this sounds weird, but I don't care if something is meant for kids. Hell, Gossip Girl is for kids and that's two inches away from being softcore. And who doesn't love GG? I mean, VC Andrews books were siiiiiiiiiiiiiick, c'mon Twilight, up the ante here.

*SPOILER ALERT*

WARNING I AM GOING TO TALK ABOUT BOOK 4

there is some vampsex in book 4, but it's still verrrrry sweet valley high.

Like the one where Jessica (or was it Jessica's friend) did it with some dude at the beach house and it was just: "She woke up the next day feeling.....different."?

was it lila fowler?

why do I still know her name???

it was!

who saw South Park last night?