Why? Is the shipment coming in today?

Do you have to meet with drug lords? Cats? Drug lording cats?

GIVE THEM THE NIPPER, DAMNIT

TIME TO GOOF OFF WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

CAAATS! DRUG CATS!

They can haz munchies?

Duuuuuuude... there's like a huge jar of candy in the office.

All the more reason to worry! Now they'll never leave before your boss gets back.

HILARITY ENSUES.

THIS IS A FILM ABOUT CATS FLYING.

My paws are so big...

There's no middle-management suck-up type left in charge to make sure you aren't goofing off? If not, I would balance some goofing off with enough actual work that you can point to as accomplished when the boss returns.

There's actually a good amount of work to be done, and I'm keeping on top of it (minus the hurry-up-and-wait downtime)... mostly not having my boss here means that I'm operating without a net.

you can get a safety harness- or one of those jackets motorcycle riders wear that poof out into airbags as soon as you hit the ground (they make those for horseback riders now too- omg FUN)

Use his desk while he's gone. Act like nothing's out of the ordinary about this, but say nothing about it to coworkers unless they ask, and if they do, just make some vague comment about keeping the seat warm and change the subject. No one will want to inquire further. When he gets back, if someone brings it up, deny everything, making them look crazy, which will keep anyone from fucking with you. If no one brings it up, they'll associate you more with authority, improving your odds of a promotion in the near future. Either way you win.

@Centro: and nothing lends an air of authority like wearing a jacket that poofs out into an airbag. Nobody messes with a badass like that. I may get one of those myself, just for everyday wear.

dude- it's like that movie UP, but like, it's just you and there's no helium

@-j. They'll be wondering what other James Bond devices you may have. Laser watch? Grenade pen? Anything is possible.

He'll have those drugged-out cats eating out of the palm of his hand. Probably tuna.