Above Comments Field

You are in a post on GO team internet, looking down on an open comments field. Above you is the navigation bar. To the right are the Original Poster's picture and his most recent threads.

There is a Comment in the field.

>

< pun

> read Comment

> read walkthrough

@Jay Def> Welcome to Internet Text Adventure. Watch out for ponies and trolls.

@-j.> Need Help?
There is no help.

> annoy Beej

> post I sure do hate trolls. Ponies don't bug me so much.

> go north

> spin in swivel chair

> pretend to know wtf is going on here

> lol at bizzy's comment

@-j.> Beej leaves in an uncharacteristically non-witty huff.

Beej is annoyed.

@Jay> You post "I sure do hate trolls. Ponies don't bug me so much." It is a little known and odd fact that this is the mating call for both species.

@Mace> You see a browser bar. Upon it is etched the URL: "http://goteaminternet.com/show/77156". A cursor at the end of the URL flashes forlornly.

@TWIGBy> You spin until you are busy. The URL now says "hppt://goatsontheinternet.com/show/1337". You are now dizzy.

@bizzy > Although dizzy, you pretend to know what's going on. Your boss is impressed.

@-j.> You Laugh Out Loud. Your boss begins to doubt your sanity.

(Just for the record, the "my boss believes in my sanity" boat has long sailed, hit an iceberg, sunk, and become an artificial reef.)

> bacon

At The Browser Bar

You are in the navigation bar for your browser of choice. You breathe a sigh of relief when you realize it is not Internet Explorer. To the South is the Go Team Internet Navigation Bar.

A URL is etched in the bar.

There is an Annoyed Beej here.

There is a Swivel Chair here.

There is a Boss Looking Over Your Shoulder here.

@-j.> What bacon?

> post BUTTS

("What bacon"?? Is this GTI or isn't it?)

> make outdated pop culture reference

@Jay> You Post "BUTTS".

The URL does not react.

The Annoyed Beej leaves South.

The Swivel Chair is unimpressed.

The Boss Looking Over Your Shoulder considers calling HR.

@-j.> The Boss Looking Over Your Shoulder gets the reference. He guffaws.

>inventory?

@JasAsian v2.0> You have
Mouse
Keyboard
Screen
Bag of Useless Knowledge
Noms

> look noms

@-j.> They look delicious yet non-specific. You find a note.

> read note in a funny voice

> eat noms while everyone else is reading note

@Mace> You read aloud in an exaggerated, Dick-Van-Dyke-esque cockney accent, "OI MADED YEH A COOKIE, BUT OI ATED IT".

The Boss Looking Over Your Shoulder is confused.

@-j.> Noms mysteriously vanish without a trace. On the plus side, you feel less hungry.

> open bag of useless knowledge in a funny voice

@Mace> You open the Bag of Useless Knowledge in a Reediculous Accent.

Zut Alours! Eenside zee bag, you weell bee finding

Ze Star Trrrek Treevia
Ze Collec-sion avec les Rage Comics
Ze Rabid Fanboyee
Ze URL avec les 4chan
Ze Nyan Cat Owners Manuel
Ze ticket avec un Robot Unicorn ride
Ze Collec-sion avec les Eencrediblee Geeky T-Shirrt You Swear Are Eeeyeroneec

> Post This is brilliant! Bustie is a star!

@Jay> You post "This is brilliant! Bustie is a star!". The post glitters and twinkles like a 13-year-old's MySpace page circa 2002.

> Read Nyan Cat Owner's Manual, but all normal-like and boring.

>USE bag of useless knowlege

@Mace> You now know that, no matter how delicious Nyan Cat might look, it is meant to be used as a mode of transportation and should never be put in a toaster.

Get Ability "Summon Nyan Cat".

@JasAsian> You now know that, in the pilot to Firefly, there is a scene where Alan Tudyk is clearly not holding the wheel of Serenity and is just miming flying. And also that "Rogues Do It From Behind". And that you can type something else into the URL bar.

> anything but summon Nyan Cat

> get Random Knowledge from bag of random knowledge

@-j.> Summon Nyan Cat?

@Jay Def> You now have random knowledge and are well-prepared for a Pub Quiz.

Random Knowledge equipped.

> type zooborns.com in url bar

@Mace> You type zooborns.com into the URL bar. You are wisked away to the cuddly-wuddliest petting zoo on the Internet.

At The Zooborns Home Page

You stand in an endless expanse of wubbly-fluffikins. Tiny baby animals, both exotic and mundane cavort about you while making tiny squeaking noises. Above you is a tiger-striped logo banner. To your left are Feed and filter links. To your right is a plug for the Zooborns book.

A ZOMG Baby Tiger is here.
A Wookit His Ears Baby Fennec Fox is here.
A LOL He Looks Like A Human Baby Colobus Monkey is here.
A WTF Is That Baby Kangaroo is here.
A He's So Fuzzy Baby Penguin is here.

> Post YAY BABY ANIMALS!!!

@MACE> You Post "YAY BABY ANIMALS!!!" You really shouldn't have posted in all caps. Your shouting has spooked them and caused all of the baby animals to stampede adorably. Except the sloths. They are too slow to stampede.

The ZOMG Baby Tiger is upset.
The Wookit His Ears Baby Fennec Fox is agitated.
The LOL He Looks Like A Human Baby Colobus Monkey is nonplussed.
The WTF Is That Baby Kangaroo is crying for its mother.
The He's So Fuzzy Baby Penguin is giving you the cold shoulder.

A Has No Fucks To Give Baby Sloth Arrives. He is cool with it.
A Fuck You, I'm An Anteater Baby Anteater arrives. He is standoffish.

> give Robot Unicorn Ride ticket to Baby Anteater

@MACE> Fuck You, I'm An Anteater Baby Anteater takes Robot Unicorn Ride ticket.

Fuck You, I'm An Anteater Baby Anteater says "Fuck Yeah!".

Fuck You, I'm An Anteater Baby Anteater uses Robot Unicorn Ride ticket.

Robot Unicorn arrives on a wave of Erasure.

Fuck You, I'm An Anteater Baby Anteater's dreams come true.

> and butts

@Phro> Fuck You, I'm An Anteater Baby Anteater's dreams come true. Butts are, unexpectedly, somehow involved.

> change Fuck You, I'm An Anteater Baby Anteater's name to Fuck You, I'm A Butteater Baby Butteater.

> call SPCA

> you have the choice to call ASPCA or CSPCA.