Not even the easy ones. No hoodie nor too-small sweater. (Nor any sweaters, actually.) Don't drink PBR or MHL. Have an old digital camera, but no blog. No cabbie hat or mustache, either.

In two years, however, I will qualify for Grandpa.

I'm the same way...I was like "Nope...nope...nope..."

I think I refused the evolution from indie kid to hipster right around the time of the Green Visor.

"Fuck this evolution business," says I. "I'ma stay up here in the trees and fling poo instead."

Congrats! I have I about two spaces I can mark off. One of them is the free space. :P

As far as I'm concerned, it's great though. It's like your doctor telling you you don't have tuberculosis.

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA yes! It is totally like learning you're tuberculosis-free!

I love that.

I don't need a doctor to tell me I don't have tuberculosis. I know. It doesn't make you feel as good, though.

So, one of our friends has disappeared from the face of the earth, and it occasionally comes up in conversation. "Hey, do you know what happened to her? I've haven't heard from her in forever!"

And sometimes I don't want to go the whole "Who knows?" route, so I answer "Oh, she has tuberculosis."

"What?!?"

"Oh, yeah, you didn't hear? Yeah, she's in Switzerland."

"What?!?"

"She went there to 'take the waters'."