how sexy? like... going out on the town sexy or like I am working at a club called "the silver pony"?

The Gilded Pony, natch

Can I just show up in a bathing suit? Specifically, a tiny bikini? And would you be so kind as to die during a heat wave?

Yes to the tiny bikini. Dying during heat wave? HIGHLY likely given how I handle heat.

is a set of pasties and high heels too far? should i invest in some ruffled skivvies?

Ask Mace! I think you two should matchy-match

I can wear a tight red suit-dress, red lipstick and a big floppy hat with a dark veil, and everyone will whisper about me being your secret mistress.

I will assuredly wear my blouse undone to here, and my skirt split up to there.

Shake your ass around my casket.

Erica, do you wanna be-ee-ee-ee-eeee the little princess, who finally gets the pony?

I love this song, and I haven't even heard it.

(Listening now!)

I'm still picking gravel out of my back

I've only done it by one graveyard, and I definitely don't want to be buried there. That place is evangelical.