the shark would work well for credit card offers, for instance.

That would be a great idea, especially if the point of the junk mail is to get me to buy heart medication.

I don't know why, but the badger or wolverine or whatever that thing is looks to me like it's about to drop some dope beats into the mix.

all this scratching is making me itch

I don't even know if I would consider that junk mail, considering how awesome it is.

LASERS !!!!

Why do those sharks have no lasers?!

@little_p Frickin' lasers!