acceptable things to say to a cute person

I wanna tell a girl she's cute, and I found some inspiration in a Temptations song she really likes. The lyrics go: "if good looks were a minute, you'd be an hour".

At first, I was gonna say "if good looks were billy goats, you'd be a petting zoo." then I realized that was retarded. so far, my favorite idea is "if good looks were incomplete sentences, you'd be".

Suggestions? ANECDOTES? HI GTI

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farts.

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Music you discovered a good while LATER than everyone else

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guess what i'm drunk so i'll answer your questions for like five minutes maybe

16 comments.   

ANDREW BIRD JUST ASKED ME FOR BIKE ADVICE

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All the different kinds of people that there are

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Today had some pretty good internet

"I’m looking for a supplier of urethral sounding rods made of stainless steel in diameters from 10 millimetres up to 18 millimetres. I would greatly appreciate any help, as I’m currently using a 12 mm sounding rod and I need a 14 mm rod to finish off my stretching. My wife can get her pinky inside me to the second knuckle, and when she can get it in to the knuckle on her fist she will ritually pierce my frenum in front of a group of women. This is a marking ceremony/ritual and is my lifelong fantasy. I’m spending a fortune at various machine shops, but a whole series of 12, 13, 14 sounding rods would make it a faster process. Can you please help? » Randy Ron"

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There's a first time for everything- getting shot at, for instance

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Is this creepy:

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My friend Ian is thinking about getting a navel piercing. Dudes do that? If so, is it hot? THIS IS NOT IMPORTANT BUT WEIGH THE FUCK IN

17 comments.   

fuck hey guys

7 comments.   

Which decade/century were you meant for?

27 comments.   

Goddamn, it be some Tuesday up in this drag. There is some potent ODOR in my kitchen. It smells like chinese food and vomit.

7 comments.